I want to talk about emotions. Really talk.
We’ve all got them. Some of us put them on display, some hide them behind barriers. Some think they are stupid, some (actually quite a few people I’ve come across) believe that they’re a sign of weakness. Many associate them with femininity and women- which I find annoying, and many of us at times, just don’t know how on earth to bloody control them.
Now I would say that I’ve been having that problem for quite a while now. It comes and it goes this feeling, but at times I do just feel lost in my emotions. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not an emotional wreck. Contrary to popular belief, being “emotional” doesn’t automatically mean (esp. if you’re female), that you are some kind of naive silly little girl who needs to come back down to earth and have a reality check. I hate that assumption, that emotions equal weakness. No. I’ve gone through a few rough patches in life, particularly with family life, and I’ve never really moaned about it, and don’t really talk about it, which is wrong I know. As I’ve matured I’ve begun to understand the importance of talking. Sometimes it’s your right to take that one tiny moment to feel sorry for yourself and just pour your heart out. Yes. Cry. Getting something of your chest is important. Very important. And I don’t do this often. I’m not a shy person. I may be quiet at times, but not shy. I’ll always speak up against something I believe to be wrong. However this is often concerning my beliefs; social, political etc, or other people, and not actually about myself. I guess, growing up, we as a family weren’t really prone to talk about our problems and feelings, and thinking about this recently has made me kinda angry.
I have begun to realise the power of talking. The importance of not letting your emotions get the better of you. Emotions have their positives and their negatives, but just like everything, too much of something is never a good thing. Talking about your emotions allows you to put things into perspective, and most importantly it allows to clear your head, meaning you can make well thought out and genuine decisions and choices. As human beings friendship and companionship is important. I believe good relationships are vital to us, and vital to our happiness. I know this now. I begun to understand this more recently on a day out with my cousin. A nice walk in a park, lead to a long conversation about problematic family, parent’s relationships, and the theme of bad fathers in our families. This lead to me crying suddenly out of nowhere in the park. And I knew that talking to my cousin, and even crying, was a good thing. I had kept my emotions held within me for far too long, and I knew I hadn’t been my usual happy self lately. Anyone who knows me, knows I’m almost always smiling, but for the past few months I had found smiling, something usually so natural to me, hard to do. It felt like a weight was lifted of my shoulders, and I knew I wasn’t alone.
That’s one very important thing to always know! You are never alone in your thoughts and emotions, in your worries and concerns. As difficult to believe as it may be at times, there is always something more, something more loving and beautiful. I’ve found this beauty in my group of friends, and in my boyfriend. People who’ve been beautifully placed in my life, people who I may not have ever know if it wasn’t for those beautiful small consequences life has in store for us. And with them I can, and I always will from now on share my emotions with.