Most psychiatrists would agree that one is unable to love another, or in fact the human race until one truly loves and accepts themselves. Therefore if one feels such deep “hatred” for another, they must know in their hearts that they are in fact wrong. This has nothing to do with religion, but simply morality. External excuses such as ‘religion’, rules and beliefs are only forms of self deception and false rationalisation for this hatred. However not many people are able to accept this and instead fuel their hatred upon others out of denial. I think this would apply to many people who associate themselves with groups who enforce terror upon others, be it the armed military, playground bullies, terrorists, radical sects, criminals etc. I don’t fully agree with the picture below because I don’t condone suicide or violence but there’s a slight truth in it which is both horrible but just.
I wanted to write a post about something related to the Dersim massacre (1938). For those who are unfamiliar with Turkey, Dersim (once renamed Tunceli in the process of turkification, but recently renamed Dersim again), is an Alevi majority province in central eastern Turkey. As someone who’s family experienced living through the massacre, I have always been passionate about my heritage and roots…
There are many things to discuss around this topic, however I am dedicating this blog post to Arshaluys Mardikian (1901)- A young Armenian girl from the town of Çemişgezek in Dersim. This mainly being because I have only just found out about her. I have been researching Dersim since as long as I can remember, and I have just learnt about this wonderful and inspirational young girl. After the massacre of Armenians in modern day Turkey 1915 she witnessed the death of her family and was sold first as a slave in the Anatolian markets, then to a harem and shared amongst a number of Turkish pashas. She however refused to give up on her life, and fled to Erzurum. With the help of a group of Russian soldiers who had gained control over parts of Erzurum she escaped to Tiflis (modern Tbilisi, Georgia), then to St. Petersburg, from where she traveled to Oslo and finally, with the help of Near East Relief, to New York. Arshaluys wrote about the killing of the Armenians and Dersim people. The book was called Ravished Armenia and was also developed into a film. Arshaluys married and settled in America, but sadly suffered severe mental trauma in her late life due to what she had gone through. She died alone in 1994, and her story was forgotten…But definitely not by me.
( Image from http://www.muntsavicente.com/supersinglemum.html)
Today is Father’s day, and I congratulate and respect all the men who have been great fathers to their children.
And at the same time, I show the same, if even more respect for all the mothers who have had to play the role of not only mum, but dad too. Because there are a lot of amazing women who do find themselves put in that situation, and it’s damn hard. Not everyone will be able to relate to this feeling, however there are certainly a lot of people who will. You may not be a child of a “single mum”, you may in fact be someone who’s parents are married, but who’s father has never played a significant role in their lives. I have many friends who feel this way, and I know that it’s difficult, as it can leave you feeling upset and confused, with so many unanswered questions in your head. Some of my friends, or people I have had similar conversations with have discussed how although they have lived with both parents, their “family” has always felt like a false portrait of how they really are. A common issue being that many people have felt that their father’s have not ever attempted to bond with them or form a relationship. This leaves children and teenagers, or even grown adults feeling that they have done something wrong, but that is most certainly NOT the case. It’s never a child’s fault if you’ve just basically got a dead beat dad. Let’s just put it out there bluntly and truthfully. All parents owe it to their children to be the best parents they can be.
Feel free to leave comments on your own experiences and thoughts.